A God Who Sits with Demoniacs
David Orendorff · Luke 8:26-39 · June 24, 2007
I remember my first dirty joke. It was about a pig, a farmer and the county fair; the punch line had to do with corks and manure. I thought it was hilarious and I said a word my momma wouldn't let me say. I told it to my younger brothers and we laughed secretly. I have since learned that the dirt of life is not so much in its jokes, though humor can be a very cruel. The dirt is in life's tragedies. It is the unhappy events brought to us by chance or by our own deficiencies that mark us as unclean and untouchable.
I know this will surprise you, me being a certified master of divinity and all, but I have errors and deficiencies that make me unclean and cause me to believe that at times I am untouchable. I identify with the demoniac, a man full of demons, who too often lives insane among the tombstones of old deaths.
There are hundreds of small dirties in me. I know that when I drive my car I dirty the air and add to global warming. I know that when I eat a hamburger I am greedy of the earth's fruit, consuming ten times the grain of granola. When I pay my taxes I know that I am supporting declared wars and secret wars against the vilified.
And there are more serious demons that make me unclean. I can be impatient and unlistening, neglectful of those who love me, raise my voice in anger and I am not fully generous with my wealth. There is more but you get the idea.
We live in a time when to admit guilt is not chic. Only the spiritually immature are supposed to acknowledge they are guilty. So, I guess, I am one of the immature and now I am guilty of speaking my guilt.
A man I greatly respect told me that he felt virtually no guilt in life, that he rarely felt a need for forgiveness. Notice that he does not say he is not guilty. He knows he is a sinner, he just doesn’t feel the guilt. To acknowledge our guilt and to feel guilty are two different things. And the difference lies in divine forgiveness. Everyone I know, including myself, is guilty. But we don’t need to live guilt ridden lives.
Helen Bacovcin has translated the anonymous writings of an eighteenth century Russian pilgrim and mystic. The pilgrim wanders from teacher to teacher. He comes by reference to a priest who is known for his wisdom in hearing confessions. The pilgrim spends days writing everything he can remember that might be a sin. The pilgrim struggles to be as honest as possible and to reveal everything no matter how painful. Then he gives the list of his sins to his confessor. The pilgrim writes:
After reading the list he said to me, "Beloved brother, you wrote here much that is useless. … you enumerated all the trivialities but ignored the most important thing; you did not reveal your serious sins. You did not acknowledge and did not write down that you don't love God, that you hate your neighbor, that you do not believe in the word of God, and that you are full of pride and ambition."1 The Way of a Pilgrim, trans. by Helen Bacovcin, (New York, Doubleday, 1992), 112-113.
The guilt for which I need forgiveness is not in the small actions of my life, but in my relationship with God, my neighbor and myself. If this guilt is healed, if this sin is removed, the small guilts of my life will become more holy.
The pilgrim was convinced and convicted by the confessor and wrote in his journal:
- I do not love God. For if I loved (God), then I would be constantly thinking of (God) with heartfelt satisfaction; every thought of God would fill me with joy and delight. On the contrary, I think more and with greater eagerness about worldly things, while thoughts of God present difficulty and aridity...
- I do not love my neighbor. Not only because I am not ready to lay down my life for the good of my neighbor, according to the Gospel, but I will not even sacrifice my peace and my happiness for (my neighbor's) good. If I loved my neighbor as myself, as the Gospel commands, then his misfortune would grieve me also and his prosperity would bring me great joy...
- I do not have faith in spiritual realities. I believe neither in immortality nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly convinced and believed without a doubt in eternal life ... then I would be constantly thinking about this; the very thought of immortality would inspire me with wonder and awe and I would live my life as an alien who is getting ready to enter his native land...
- I am full of pride and self-love. All my actions confirm this. When I see something good in myself, then I wish to display it or brag about it to others, or interiorly I am full of self-love even when outwardly I feign humility. I ascribe everything to my own ability and I consider myself more perfect than others, or at least not worse...2 ibid., pp. 113-116.
The story goes on but I too am convinced and convicted by the confessor. This is the reflection I bring to the gospel story of the Gerasene demoniac. I hear in this wonderful healing my healing by forgiveness. I am forever grateful that Jesus chose to come, walk and sit in the graveyard with me. When I am in a moment of guilt Jesus comes to me and in compassion, embraces me saying the words that heal my soul, laughs with me as the demons swarm into the pigs and then leap from the cliff. Jesus sits with me in peace.
All is forgiven. Do you hear the good news? All is forgiven. When Jesus meets the demonic he speaks not a word of condemnation to the man, but speaks directly to the demons. And directing no shame or guilt to the man, he casts the demons into the pigs and the man returns to himself, to whom God made him to be. It is then that they sit and share peace.
I am not and never have been of the thought which says we are demoniacs from conception, unworthy to be loved by God. Because of wonderful parents and the church in which they raised me I have always believed that first and foremost I am a precious and beloved child of God. I do not believe and never have that babies are born unclean and are doomed to live unclean lives. I believe we are conceived in the image of God but sometimes possessed by demons. Life’s tragedies have a way of finding a place to wound and twist, and what was holy in conception becomes sullied. But we are not doomed by this, where our lives are demon possessed and stained God's forgiveness cleanses us, setting us free to become Christ to the world.
Do you hear the good news? We need not live with heads hanging in shame or remorse for who we are. We are wonderfully made. And where we fail to be all we were made to be Christ embraces us and casts the demons from us. It is the joyful experience of my life that meeting Jesus, saying prayers of gratitude for his many mercies and committing my life to being his disciple by worship, study and service creates in me a process of healing. I am moved, I know not how, to a greater love of God, a more natural love of my neighbor, a more frequent trust of spiritual things, and a decrease in pride and self-love.
The end of today’s scripture is a bit odd:
The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with Jesus; but Jesus sent him away, saying, ‘Return to your home, and declare how much God has for you.’ So he went away, proclaiming throughout the city how much Jesus had done for him. 3 Luke 8:38-39
When healed we want to hang around with the healer. It feels good and we are grateful. In our case that might mean just hanging around folks from our small group, other Bearcreekians, or the people with whom we are most comfortable, the people and place of our healing. But Jesus’ advice to the demoniac and even to those who travel with him is to go home and share the love of God there.
When we suffer the afflictions of our souls, Christ embraces us and then we are sent home to be Christ to others, particularly the others who are lost or demon driven. It is the miracle of Jesus walking with us in the grave yard, that as Henri Nouwen says, we become a “Wounded Healer.” We who were once possessed now go home healed and healing. By the forgiveness of God we become those who sit with the demoniacs.
So remember, you are the beloved child of God even in your most demon possessed moment. And in the embrace of Jesus you are forgiven, healed and sent to heal. May God always have mercy upon us and may we always be mercy to others. Shalom and Amen.